I really don't know how to feel right now. It's all too wild, too messed up. I honestly don't know how to feel, what I want anymore. I really do hope I can leave this place and stop the pain. It's hard to put into simple words or explanation. I'm upset. Disappointed. Lost.

It hurts to walk away from you, it's like the moment I stepped away, everything we went through just flashes back, everywhere I go, what I did, just reminds me of you, every single detail, the first day I met you, the first time we met, the first time we hang out, every little detail just flashes back, stopped me. So I turned back, running, running towards you, hoping to find you and make it right. I stand at the corner of the stairs, looking at your while you siting alone at the dock. I don't know what to do, what to say to make it right.

I don't know how you feel about me anymore. But I'm certain about myself, I wanna make our pinky promise, our dreams come true. Yeah I'm naive, but for you, why not? We might not hang out everyday like other people did, we might not talk on the phone every night. But as long as we keep trying, nothing could stop us.

As I post this, this is our 176 days of being together. It might be a fun & bumpy 176days but I never regret once being with you. I just wanna be there for you, sad, happy, everything, I wanna spent my life with you. I really do.

And if I could have the chance to go through this 176 days again, I'll.

Life so full of ups and downs. Well at least I have someone to kpkb to.